Horror Movies

Hello everyone,

I LITERALLY EXPLODED WITH JOYYYYYYYYY (do not watch this if you think “incredible tales” is the scariest shit you’ve ever watched/think bands like Nirvana and people like Lady Gaga are “satanic”/think “the walking dead” is scary/think these films are scary*)

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBbi4NeebAk]

i originally posted it with the thumbnail BUT ITS TOO SCARY.

INSIDIOUS 2 IS COMING OUT!

For people who do not follow the cult of the horror movie, Insidious is one of the best horror movies of the past millennium. It’s so well made, and has some pretty good scares. Thankfully, it doesn’t resort to the tactic of overloading the audience with guts and gore to get a reaction so I’m really excited for it.

Anyway, I’ve decided to pay an homage to myself (BEFORE YOU THINK IM SELF ABSORBED CONTINUE READING) and recount all the awesome experiences I’ve had with horror movies!

1) First Horror Movie

That’s Ryan Reynolds btw

This was my first ever horror movie. I mean, I had watched tons of snippets of them before but this was the first one I actually remember very vividly. It happened one day when I was K2 or P1 and I was at my grandma’s house. Then my aunty asked me to watch it so me and my sisters went into her room. I remember screaming alot because I thought it was the scariesttttttt thing in the world. Really, I know the “bloody woman in the mirror” thing is really cliche but I was really really freaked out for awhile. I was even afraid to go to the bathroom at night (I still am btw, and I’m afraid of the dark). Looking back, it was probably VERY IRRESPONSIBLE of my aunty to let a child watch an M18 film filled with dead indian burial grounds/homicidal rampages/demon people who pretend to be imaginary friends and whatnot but oh well, no point crying over spilt milk..

Anyway, I bought the real book years later when I was 11 and it still gave me chills when I read it… Sigh, there are just some things you can’t unsee.

2) First Thai Horror Film

Shutter. Enough said.

If any of you wish to know what I’m talking about but are too scared to watch the movie, there’s a shitty American remake that’s not half as scary.

3) SCARY MOVIE

Best. Horror. Movie. Ever. It started sucking after the 3rd movie and now it’s degenerated into Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen making comments about rehab. Warning: This film is not meant for anyone with an education level beyond PSLE

4) Being Bored By The Exorcist

Okay, if anyone actually reads my blog besides my teacher and this other girl on wordpress who posts stuff that are a million times more useful than mine, I would probably get alot of “what the hell?”‘s from this. Basically, this movie is supposed to be a “classic” movie. It’s about a girl who gets possessed by a demon and how the priests perform an exorcism on her. So my aunt (yes she was the supplier of my childhood horror movies), had a copy of The Exorcist. I was around 10 that time and had discovered the full power of the internet, so I had heard so much about that movie.

The movie gets scarier towards the end, and some of the scenes were really creepy (180 degree heard turn anyone? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSxuXQCEC7M dont watch if youre a pussy) but I was so bored halfway through the movie that I fell asleep. I rewatched it last year with a few friends to see if I got anything new out of it….

I didn’t.

5) Traumatised for 2 years

I was around 10 when my aunt (her again) brought back some DVDs. One of them was a scary movie called Wrong Turn 2 or something like that and it’s about cannibals in the virginia woods (pleasant). Anyway, it was basically a very gory + disturbing film and I saw a person get decapitated and started to cry so we ended the movie.

Okay, this is the sad bit. When I was younger, I loved cooked chicken. My maid used to love cooking me chicken thigh and it was awesome and I could probably eat a ton of KFCs if I tried. The thing is, chicken thigh looks alot like… human thigh. So from then on I literally stopped eating chicken for a while. I mean, chicken rice cut up kind of chicken was okay but fried shit and thigh revolted me. It was only towards the end of 11 where I started to enjoy that kind of chicken again and only got over it when I was around late 12/early 13s. And what sucked was that I didn’t want to sabo my aunt and face the wrath of my mother if she ever found out that her young impressionable children had been sneaking off on the weekends to watch horror movies under the guise of eating nasi lemak (hahs I stopped eating the fried chicken of that for a while), so I had to continue eating chicken in her presence.

6) Awesome awesome movie marathon

There is this one extended period of time between the EOYs and the end of school where you do nothing. Coming to school becomes useless and you spend the days slacking. Many people used to fill up this time in primary school by bringing games like monopoly/ game of life and the occasional badass would bring in a deck of poker cards which the teachers were very strict about.

So being bored, I downloaded a bunch of movies and brought my lappy to school. One day, however, we had 6 whole free hours. Why? Don’t know! The theatre teachers simply didn’t show up because they were probably on overseas trips or something. Whatever we got a really long free period so….

please excuse the boy on the left

please excuse the boy on the left

We had an awesome movie marathon. AND I MEAN AWESOME. Initially, a small group of us watched Juon, which was kinda boring but short. THEN, we watched THE EVIL DEAD, which is the awesomest horror movie in the world. It’s really gory and stuff but scary, and everyone was laughing about a certain tree scene (hehs). It’s even more awesome because IT IS BANNED IN SINGAPORE (alot of shit are banned in Singapore actually but no one cares). We also ordered McDonalds breakfast and were happily eating away while people got shot/bitten/attacked/stabbed. This set of a chain of events and the next day we were watching Friday The 13th, which was equally fun and we finally ended our little run on the next day with Scream, which was the scariest of them all.

Good times never last. Sighs. Anyway, the REMAKE of the EVIL DEAD has just come out and is apparently just as awesome. So guess who is going to watch it when the DVD comes out?

Thanks for taking so much time to read my long draggy blog post. Basically, I love horror movies and I really do look forward to watching new ones with friends, family and lovers (if i get any). Goodnight and enjoy the rest of your June Holiday!

———————————————
DISCLAIMER

I don’t claim responsibility for anybody who clicks on the links and gets scared/traumatized.

Knowing my audience, you are probably 15/above 15 so you have NO EXCUSE for being a pussy.

* The “Non Scary Films” are as follows
1. The Possesion (gay)
2. Sorority Row (seriously)
3. The Orphanage
4. The Orphan
5. Mama (really guys)
6. Friday The 13th Remake (more s- than actual scares)

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