The Haze

Hello,

It has been day 4 of the wonderful haze. Currently, my street ends at the HDB in front of me, the air smells terrible, I get a horrible headache and everything on twitter is about the haze. Oh yea, China has better air quality than us now.

But I’m going to be completely honest, these past 4 days have been the most exciting days in Singapore history (for me). I mean, it’s really horrible the health problems that these hazes carry but it’s been fun (for me). So, I present to you, an entire blog post dedicated to my life during the haze…

Timeline 

Monday: Foggy when I wake up, but thought it was just my window UNTIL TWITTER EXPLODES.
Horrible headache when I return home. Apparently school can be cancelled by now?

Tuesday: Haze and… haze.

Wednesday: Eyes itch after spending an entire day out in Orchard. Then, evening-night time is awesome because the PSI breached 170 in the afternoon so AIR CON FULL BLAST SINCE ALL THE WINDOWS ARE CLOSED. Then…… night time approaches as the PSI completely trashes the Singapore environment and the PSLE score of every teenager in the country. PSI rises like mad, no doubt helped by that night’s showing of The Final One. When the PSI hits 290, we take out the guitar and have a jam session playing hard rock songs because we felt like it. NEA and other government agencies twitter followings shot up to over 40,000 in one night, an impressive feat considering no one follows government agency twitter accounts.

MIDNIGHT APPROACHES AND THE PSI HAS HIT THE HAZARDOUS LEVEL

Thursday: This is when it starts to get serious. Not really comfortable with the fact it’s hazardous but still goes out. Everyone is wearing surgical masks (which apparently don’t work) but the school gave them out for free so whatever. PSI hits 371 midday and WOAHHH it was foggy as hell! My head hurt like mad again but went away after drinking special chinese medicine offered by the sinseh who was suffering from eye irritation.

Pros and Cons 

Pros
Dangerous to go out for too long (element of adventure)
School may be closed (HEY they’re going to burn trees anyway so why not burn next week?)
Awesome excuse to stay at friends house for a longer time (“mummy damn dangerous to go out now omg PSI ___”)
THE TWITTER PUNS ARE HILARZ
Air Con is on full blast
The entire Singapore looks like China/Silent Hill/Genting Highlands

Cons
LOTS of people suffering from medical problems (already in the hazardous range)
International relations suffer (the indonesian guy called us babies= half true)
The air smells disgusting
Surgical masks suck (damn hot when you breathe in)
Can’t play sports without someone saying “eh haze dont play”
Air con is on full blast (electricity bill ^^^^)
The entire Singapore looks like China/Silent Hill/Genting Highlands

I, Wanna Rock And Roll ALL NIGHHTTTTT, AND PARTY EVERYDAY

Apparently the haze is not going to go away because of the delayed monsoon rains that are not happening anytime soon. Also, new hotspots are appearing everyday and some of them are just starting to burn. Apparently they can’t even EXTINGUISH the fires because some of them are underground. And, they have the planes all ready to fire some chemicals into the clouds to stop the haze but it will only have a short term impact. Plus, there are NO CLOUDS IN THE SKY TO SHOOT THE CHEMICALS INTO.

So, they may have to cancel school for a while…

HOW IS THAT NOT AWESOME NEWS???!!!!!!!

But on the other hand

If we stay at home and PLAY ALL DAY and all work is halted then Singapore is going to be a ghost town! We’re going to lose a ton of money from our economy and that’s going to ultimately affect us. Also, the shit from the haze and the countless amounts of oil we are wasting to power our aircons 24-7 is cancer for the environment!

However

Some people should stop bitching about how people are making a joke out the haze because LIKE IT OR NOT, THE HAZE IS HERE TO STAY. So instead of trying to sustain new vegetable farms and tweeting insults to the NEA you should try to make the best of the situation. That could include using this confinement period to get closer to your family/do your homework/make some light out of the situation. OBVIOUSLY ITS BAD if you make fun of someone who died and stuff but cmon people are getting slammed on twitter for making puns.

I mean like…….

TWITTER:
@xforjoanne21 RT @NEAsg : “PSI is 244. Issued at 4pm” OMG WTH LAH GAHMENT WHY CANT YOU DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS HAZE LEH WTH PAP SUCKS

@3028429384x12environemt RT @sen778: “When PSY becomes PSI twitter.pic/2838” OMG PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING FROM THE HAZE AND YOUR MAKING A FREAKING JOKE OUT OF IT???!!!!!!!!!

(these people are fictional sorry if I used your name on accident)

Anyway

The haze really IS TERRIBLE in Singapore but there’s not much we can do about it now. Everyone should take care and drink plenty of water. Restrict outdoor activity (national weight average has increased tenfold, im sure)!

OH YES TWO MORE THINGS 

Firstly, there’s been a gigantic hooha about our foreign construction workers physically exerting themselves without any sort of protection from the haze. Some have called for the government to take action and ensure our workers are in good health. Some of the more extreme views call the government to halt all construction activity. Now, while I do agree that we need to watch over the workers (make sure they all have masks etc.) halting all construction work in itself is a bit TOO extreme. In all honesty I’m undecided about the issue so I really hope the workers can stay in good health.

Secondly, there has been nothing for me to do around the house except read and play guitar. Through this, I have suddenly developed a fascination of playing hard rock songs because it’s so fitting for the situation*. And what’s awesome is that the windows and doors are all closed and the air con is turned on, SO MY HOUSE HAS AWESOME ACOUSTICS. CAN WHACK THE GUITAR ALL DAY SIOL!

I think I look like this when I play rock on guitar

Everyone take care of your health during the haze!!!!!!!!!!!!

————————————————————————————

Disclaimer
In no way am I wishing anyone to death through this haze.

* List Of Songs That Are Fitting For This Situation
WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE
ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICCANNNEEE
DANGER ZONE
EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE
Basically any hard rock song with alot of guitar solos/songs with references to air/songs about danger
ON SECOND NOTE: JOHN MAYERS NEW ALBUM IS OUT ON AUGUST 13

Postscript: Everyone, the PSI may decrease but it’s not going to stay that way. I’m quoting the government reports that say it may last till September if we really have shitty luck (but at the moment its only a few weeks).

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