Zombie Apocalypse: Singapore

Hello,

Okay so recently there has been this thing going on which I like to call “Zombie Mania”. They’re all over pop culture, from TV shows like The Walking Dead and the recent wave of zombie movies (World War Z, Warm Bodies) (notice they all have a “w” in common). And with the idea of having our world overrun by these mindless chomping multiplier effect creatures, many people have started wondering how one could survive a zombie outbreak. The thing which is really scary about zombies is the fact that they 1) have no conscience 2) were once your friends 3) will continue multiplying. With a zombie apocalypse on a worldwide scale, the only 2 possible ways out are to either find an antidote or kill them all. Either way will not be easy. If you find an antidote (it will take some time) how do you think you are going to reverse the amount of damage done to their physical bodies? And killing them all is going to be no easy feat, because one dead man from a zombie bite becomes another zombie. Also, how are you going to train entire armies (remember, half the people you know are dead and evil) to kill a zombie. Even worse, how are you going to train entire armies to kill a zombie by a headshot? The reason why headshots are so highly prized is because they are difficult! (Call Of Duty is not a qualification). We seem pretty much doomed if a zombie apocalypse were to happen.

Wrong. You see, since I started reading Cracked.com and watching/reading about zombies, I’ve realised that zombies aren’t as invincible as we think they are. If you think about it, zombies are like every other violent animal . They have certain behaviours, traits and makeup that can be studied and used to our advantage. It’s science, not voodoo. And to be honest, the chances of a full out zombie apocalypse happening are very small. But someone else has said it in a really good scientific article (sort of scientific more common sense) so read that instead http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

But okay we DON’T END HERE. Let’s throw aside common sense and assume a zombie apocalypse can happen (http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html). So, this entire article will be about surviving a zombie apocalypse in SINGAPORE. Will we live or will we die? How would we survive?

Firstly, why would the zombie virus arrive on our shores? 

In this case, let us assume that the transitional phase from a human changing into a zombie after biting varies from person to person. Or a zombie manages to sneak onto a plane and start biting everyone.

Since Singapore is considered a world city and a prominent area for commerce and communication in the region, the zombie virus will probably arrive when an infected person flies in on a commercial airline. The person will turn into a zombie and attack everyone at the airport, or in the city. There will obviously be a multiplier effect, and one by one Singapore will be consumed by zombies.

This could come in from anything actually, the ports in Singapore or whatnot. OR we could get it from across the causeway (whether it will come from Tuas link or Woodlands is still to be debated).

Singapore’s Assets and Liabilities Evaluated 

Many High Rise Buildings

Face it, zombies are so incredibly stupid that they probably don’t know how to move aside a heavy blockade or figure out how to use a lift. So, you could be happily enjoying yourself relaxing in your HDB flat while the undead roam the streets below. You could also possibly chuck a coffee table out of the window and kill a few. The undead will then mile around the bottom of your flat and moan over their dead zombie friend and do nothing (because thats what zombies do all the time) and slowly disperse when a bird dies or something like that. Also, you have a ton of neighbours, so there is a humongous pool of human talent you can use. 

There is a problem though. If you block your lift and whatnot, how are you going to get down? Sure, you won’t get killed by the zombies but hunger will get you sooner or later. You have to think of a good plan on how to get down to refill your supplies. Alternatively, you could start your own farm or you can eat your dog. But once your dog is eaten, you won’t have any more food and you will die. A good way is to try and find a way around the zombies. Are there tunnels you can use? Places where you can climb down from? Sewer systems (very risky)?

Of course, an ideal way is to start your own farm and learn how to purify your own water.

Erm, speaking of farms…

The ground in Singapore is not exactly “fertile” 

Take a good look around you, there’s a reason why we are not an agricultural powerhouse and import our rice from Vietnam. Trust me, if we had something like that the PAP would’ve already set up the Singapore Farming Company. This is a major problem, because how are you going to grow good food to sustain yourself for the duration of the apocalypse? Not saying you can’t grow food but the best meal you can get out of that is probably tapioca. But hey, it’s a zombie apocalypse and our options are pretty limited.

 

Our NS Boys 

A major problem with Zombie Apocalypse’s is that we need to change our priorities. In our current time, skills that are highly prized are skills that can be used in top notch professions. For example, a person who knows how to bid and trade stocks will definitely have a higher position in life than someone who can, lets say, fix a washing car. However, this will change in the apocalypse, when there is no more stock market to bid on but a hell lot more of cars that need to be fixed. Also, how often is it in our modern world that we learn how to find food in the wilderness? All we need to do is go and order pizza or something. Without these survival and practical skills, we are doomed to die.

This is where our NS men come in. Every boy over the age of 20 has some knowledge of how to survive. This is all taught to them over the course of 2 years where they will learn how to get food, treat wounds and purify water. Best of all, they know combat skills which will help us kill the zombies. But killing zombies may also be a problem because…

No guns in Singapore 

At the moment, everyone hates the second amendment. BUT IN AN APOCALYPSE, you will love it because you will want the biggest shotgun you can get. However, there are no guns at all in Singapore. So unless the government finds it fitting to gives us guns when the dead show up, your best weapon will be your rotan or your kitchen chopper. How are you going to kill the zombies then?

Well, this problem is a huge inconvenience but you can get around it. Firstly, our goal is not to singlehandedly free Singapore of the zombies, but it is to hold them at bay and survive. Melee weapons are actually good, and you can actually do alot with them if you tried. Like, zombies have legs, and a well aimed hit to the leg will break its legs, and it will not be able to chase after you (wait yea zombies are slow in this scenario). Of course, this will take alot of technical skill and stuff but your best bet is to just plan any outings in advance.

Our Subterranean Fortresses 

I’m talking about the MRT here. I’m actually very unsure about this one as it can either be very helpful to us or kill us all. I mean, they are good holding spaces, but damn they are quite open and concentrated. And what if a zombie manages to hop on to the open air ones, like in Bishan, and follow it all the way back to where everyone is hiding?

Singapore’s Plan (?)

We are an island, we are basically isolated from any major landmass. If the zombie apocalypse were to happen before it has hit our shores, we should blow up the causeway for the second time in history and screen any incoming passengers. Then, mobilise our forces to guard the island like clockwork, and sort people out into different fields/areas because obviously the people working in the CBD will no longer be of use. This will be a humongous undertaking but if done right, we could live a relatively safe existence while the zombies kill everyone and a scientist finds a cure. There are many gaps in this plan, and many ways it can go wrong. For example, how do you ascertain that the present population in Singapore is not already infected? Seriously if we shut out the world and your neighbour starts biting everyone this is going to turn into zombie mania.

Realistically 

What will probably realistically happen is that the zombie infection will grab hold of Singapore and your best friend will be trying to eat you sooner or later. What everyone should do is just find a high place or something and barricade any point of entry into the building and the stairs. Obviously, find a way to get down or assemble an amazing A Team that will run out, shoot some zombies, get the supplies and get back. OR you should just start growing your own stuff on the roof IMMEDIATELY before you die of hunger. Eat wisely and do not oversplurge, because you will be needing that extra portion of rice you greedily ate sooner or later. Live with a small team. Do not do anything that will cause attention unnecessarily (i.e climb to the top of the roof and blast music through speakers) Ensure that your mind is occupied as well, bring some books/board games because your PS2 is not going to work in 2 weeks when they cut the power lines.  In terms of defense, ensure that your high fortress is well guarded and be alert for any leaks or ways that a zombie can get in. Always have someone on watch. If planning any outings, try and find a way that would require the least time running on ground (i.e jumping to other buildings).

My Plan 

Personally, I’d take a bunch of the things I mentioned above and go to my school. Why? High and many vantage points, and ways to access the ground either through means of climbing or moving a blockade. It has a roof thats pretty high so no zombies can see it, so thats where we can do things like farm and whatnot. Also good for helicopter pickups if we do manage to get help. My school is also very high security, so there are some very good protective measures built in. We have music rooms and concert halls which are fortresses with no sound, and gyms and whatever. So, go there, shut off the main entrance by locking the door from the escalator. Our school has many exit doors that can only be opened from the inside, so a simple barricade or chairs and tables by the inner entrance will do. I’d then consolidate my forces and friends on one of the higher levels and start a farm on the rooftop. Of course, there are many ways this can go wrong but if you consider every avenue possible, I think that me and the people I’m with in the building will have a good chance of surviving this thing.

 

Well obviously, simply saying things and armchair reasoning will not gurantee us safety. So if a zombie apocalypse does hit Singapore, be sure to be ready for the unexpected. If we don’t manage to outrun those stupid slow rigor mortified dead people, we are screwed.

Erm, that’s actually just assuming that they are slow walking dead type zombies.

 

 

If they are fast 28-Days Later Zombies, humanity is beyond screwed.

 

oh ps this is what i hope i’ll look like in the apocalypse

this but also slightly less scary and more pretty

What i will actually look like

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One thought on “Zombie Apocalypse: Singapore

  1. Pingback: Zom Nom Nom | Waiting for your Call

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